Tips

Helping Children Resist Violence
Children are exposed to human diversity at a very young age. Their curiosity about differences in race, nationality, physical/mental characteristics, religion, sexuality and ethnic background is natural and healthy. Unfortunately, the biased attitudes prevalent in our society, even today, can distort a child's understanding of diversity by equating "different" with "bad" or "wrong." How can you as a parent help your child resist bias and appreciate human diversity? The following tips may help.

• Stimulate your child's natural curiosity by exposing him/her to books, dolls, foods, traditions, etc., from a variety of cultures. Such exposure can create opportunities for him/her to experience differences positively.
  
• Because your attitude and behavior have great influence on your child, you can be a positive role model for him/her. As your child grows and watches you interact with people who are different, he/she is likely to adopt similar values.
  
• Encourage your child to take pride in his/her own heritage and to respect that of others. Help him/her to understand the important difference between positive self-esteem and feeling superior; feeling good about him/herself vs. feeling that he/she is better that someone else.
  
• Handle questions about race, gender, disability, religion, ethnicity and sexuality in an age-appropriate and honest way. Ignoring or discouraging such questions communicates a negative attitude toward differences.
  
• You can broaden your child's appreciation for diversity by taking a close look at his/her environment.
• Do his/her books, dolls, toys and games reflect the full range of human diversity, or are they all the same?
  

Older children can feel pressured by their peers to conform to rigid ways of thinking and behaving. It's common for adolescents, even those raised to value diversity, to express negative stereotypes of people who are different. This may take the form of excluding a peer with a disability, repeating racist or sexist jokes or using derogatory language to describe gays and lesbians.

As the parent of an older child, the most effective way to reinforce your own values, including embracing diversity, is through modeling. Some ways you can "walk your talk" are:

• Challenge bias as you encounter it. For example, talk with a librarian about replacing books or puzzles that portray people in stereotypical or negative ways with more appropriate ones.
  
• Let your child know how you feel about the biased comments or jokes of family members or friends.
• You may choose to challenge such remarks directly, or discuss them with your child privately. Either approach can provide an opportunity to reinforce your beliefs.
  
• Try to avoid any kind of categorizing -- positive or negative. These can convey the message that it's okay (and accurate!) to categorize people by ethnicity or race.
  

Learned bias can interfere with a parent's best efforts to teach children that the rich diversity of our society is something to be valued. By giving your child the skills and knowledge early on to confront the biased attitudes and prejudices he/she may encounter in life, you will help to instill positive attitudes toward others.